Bondage and Sexual Objectification

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Was he was a cop, a lawyer? Maybe he's your boss. It doesn't matter now. In his current state he's just a naked body, helplessly bound and gagged. He can't move, speak or even see. All he can do is wriggle and moan as drops of sweat roll down his muscular form, all the while his throbbing meat begs for your attention. He's lost any and all resemblance of power, forced into submission and completely at your mercy. He's become a toy, free for you to play with and enjoy.

In bondage, Sexual Objectification is essentially taking a man and turning him into an object. You deny him his freedom, limit his movement and leaving him stuck in a restrained position. He can't even speak up or call for help, and his ability to converse has been reduced to muffled grunts. Everything that made him a person has been stripped away, making him no more privileged in the room than a piece of furniture. His entire existence is now in your hands, free for you to do with as you see fit.


Some might read that and think, "That sound horrible. Why would you want to be objectified and humiliated in such a way?" You'd be surprised how many answers to that question, but in my quest to understand my fetish I had to find my own answer. And so began the journey down the rabbit hole.

The way I look at objectification is a means of simplification. You take something very complex and present it as a simple object. It lets you hold the subject in your hands and interact with it. It's how we understand and relate to most things. If you can see it and touch it, you can understand it. And people above all are incredibly complicated beings. All his thoughts and ideas, everything he's done and everyone he's met all shape him as a person. To objectify him means getting to touch all that he is.

And you've likely heard the phrase, "sex sells." A phenomenon which uses sex appeal in marketing. A handsome man or beautiful woman in a revealing outfit on the product. So if we were to paint a metaphor, let's say that the sexual image of the body is like a hidden magnet underneath to draw your attention. And sexually objectifying bondage would be the equivalent of removing all the fabric in the way, leaving just the magnet for you to pick-up and play with. It turns a person into an object of pure sexual desire.

But what makes objectification in bondage stand out is the experience of it. To be completely helpless with no control over your own body. You enter a vulnerable state where the instinctive fear amplifies your physical senses. Every touch against your skin is intensified, you can even feel the very air brushing against your naked form. It acts as a powerful stimulant that enhances your sensitivity.

Despite the irony, you could almost call the experience liberating. The lack of choices makes you stop thinking of choices. Since you can't move, you don't think about what to do next. Since you can't talk, you don't think of how to reason. You live within this single moment. You've been given an excuse to let go and become one with your own erotic body, to only feel and stop thinking. You get to be the man underneath all your clothes, a sensational body craving pleasure and it simplifies your existence in an almost intoxicating way.

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↗️ Art by Herrilos

The male sex especially has a lot of pressure to succeed, to be strong and not show weakness. Masculinity is like a constant battle to prove your worth, and bondage gives you a break from those expectations. You get to see him in a different state than his gender assigned role, where his sexuality has been exposed and he's not in charge anymore. You kinda cheated and broke the system. And put a dominant figure in a submissive position, where struggling is his only way to assert the sexual dominance of his gender identity.

(The Disney princes are an especially good example of this, as the whole story is setup to put them in a role of a hero---even from just looking at them you can tell they aren't figures that are meant to be in a sexually submissive position and how conflicted they feel about it.)

I had found my answer. I realized that growing up as a gay man, society had created so many barriers around my sexuality. I was forbidden from even looking at another man, their sexuality always hidden away while the straight boys would shriek from even the slightly peak in the locker room. There was no scenario in which I could just embrace the body of a man as the object of my desire.

Naturally bondage and its sexual objectification became a fantasy of a green flag, where all the barriers had been broken and I had the freedom to just enjoy his body. To just give in to desire and forget all the formalities. And perhaps that's why bondage is such a widespread fetish, as a way to separate ourselves from our stifling assigned identities and just be the horny body underneath it all.